Stupid questions I can't seem to answer

I have a question... I may sound stupid or unreasonable but I'll still ask my stupid question... What is it about me that makes you hate me so much? You'll tell me you don't hate me... OK. Then what is it about me that doesn't allow you to love me? Am I that bad? Am I that unbearable and horrible? Parents are supposed to love right? Love no matter what... Right? Then what is it about me that is so appalling to you? Am I that bad? What is it about me that you can't stand? I believe in a God who is perfect and makes things perfectly... and yet the way you treat me makes me think that He screwed up when creating me, makes me think that something about me must be wrong. I'm not saying I'm perfect... Yeah, I do stupid stuff but aren't you supposed to love me no matter what I do? I thought I had won over all this thing, I thought it's all over. But I was wrong again. It comes back, always. It comes back and it tears me apart over and over and over again. Just the fact that you all think I'm insane... It hurts. But you wouldn't know cause I would never tell you. So if anyone can answer this stupid question of mine please do cause I can't seem to figure it out. Why can't you love me the way I am and maybe, just maybe, for who I am?

Math... I HATE YOU!!!

I officially hate maths, numbers (if it's not money), triangles, pyramids, squares and stuff like that!!!

Amazing Grace

What a great song, what amazing things... What an amazing grace...

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.

T'was Grace that taught my heart to fear.
And Grace, my fears relieved.
How precious did that Grace appear
The hour I first believed.

Through many dangers, toils and snares
I have already come;
'Tis Grace that brought me safe thus far
and Grace will lead me home.

The Lord has promised good to me.
His word my hope secures.
He will my shield and portion be,
As long as life endures.

Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail,
And mortal life shall cease,
I shall possess within the veil,
A life of joy and peace.

When we've been here ten thousand years
Bright shining as the sun.
We've no less days to sing God's praise
Than when we've first begun.

Heart-breaking...

I'm quiet tonight... Quiet and humbled. Rehearsal... i love it but I hate how I feel there. I don't think people there realize how blessed and gifted they are... If I had half of their talent... I don't want to sound like I'm jealous but I wish I could sing or play like that... It's my dream since I could dream and now being so close to it and yet not being able to do it... It's a bit heart-breaking. I keep praying if it's God's will for me to sing that He may give me a voice... But it makes me cry to see all those talented people and I just stand there, feeling dumb and stupid and useless. I know I'm not those things but it's the way I feel. I do what I can... the lyrics and the computer. But sometimes I wish I could do more. I wish I could get up there, take the mic and sing my heart out. Being among those people who are my closest friends makes me feel so small and insignificant. I promised myself I would honor and serve God with everything I have, in the smallest things and yet this childhood dream of mine keeps on pressing me and making me cry. I love music and art... it's a big part of my life and I want to praise God with what I feel is close to my heart and yet I can't... It is indeed a bit heart-breaking...

Formal apology to Jimmy Needham

I wanted to formally apologize to Jimmy Needham for plagiarizing and stealing ideas from him... Or is it better to say USING his ideas (I don't like to think I've stolen anything). I think I'll start marking the things that are from his songs with something like JN so that people (not that anyone is reading this) may not be deceived by some cool stuff I use in this blog. Jimmy's songs are very inspiring, I love the lyrics so I use them very often and if that in some way offends him or violates something... I'M SORRY!!! Please forgive me my brother! I'm not a bad person (or at least I'd like to think so). I hope one day I'll see you in heaven and apologize personally. Till then I hope God will continue using you and giving you many great songs that will inspire people like me around the world.

P.S. Sorry again! =)

Teach us right from wrong...

There's gotta be something wrong, something's not right in the way we understand God... I've been thinking about it lately. Can't really explain it but I've been thinking about the church back then, when God was moving and doing all those amazing things. Where is that now? We are not the people who God made us to be.
Holy Spirit, teach us the truth. Show us the truth, the whole truth about You. Show us where we're mistaken. Point us our mistakes, our wrongs. Show us those things we've been missing. Teach us how to live COMPLETELY in Your will, how to truly trust You and rely on You. Let us be the servants You need, clay in Your hands that is willing to bend and break and be transformed. Open our eyes so that we may see the things that have stayed out of our sight so far. Please Lord, for Your name's sake. You are the one and only true God so teach us the truths we have been missing on. Cause if You don't do that, who will? If You don't put us on the right path who will do that? I want to be true and I want to be like the women in the Bible so I need Your help. Show me the little things I have thought are insignificant. I want to honor You will my whole being, I want to obey the smallest of things. Teach me right from wrong so that I may do the same to the people around me. There are so many deceptions and lies and delusions. So teach us how to distinguish black from white. We men are weak and mean and our hearts are deceitful. But You are a holy God and a God big enough to handle our mean minds and change them. So don't let us disgrace Your name with our lives. Step in. Protect what is Yours and don't let us go astray. Swoop in, remove sin, take Your bride and carry her... (JN) She belongs to You alone so do not let anyone lie to her. Cause obviously she's not strong enough to do that. So be the one to protect her and keep her away from things that will hurt her. I rely on You.

Paradox

I'll show the wind how to fly, the sun - how to shine, the rose - how to blossom. I'll teach the day how to be bright, the night – how to come unexpected, the dawn – how to amaze. I'll show people how to be humans, how to love and to hate, how to smile and to cry. I'll show them how to laugh and to sigh, how to give up and how to try. I'll show them how to conquer the strong, how to strengthen the weak. I'll teach them right and wrong. I'll show them beauty and blood. I'll give them truth and deception, friends and enemies, loyalty and betrayal. I'll show them all so that they may know. And then I'll let them decide…which one do they want… But let me tell you… They'll betray their friends and be loyal to their enemies. They'll deceit and cover the truth. They'll choose the blood over the beauty, they won't go for the right – they'll choose wrong, they'll conquer the weak and strengthen the strong, they will prefer to give up, to sigh, to hate and to cry. They won't look at the dawn, or care about the night… they'll make the day dark when it's supposed to be bright. They'll trample the rose upon dust, and keep the sun from shining when it must, they'll put the wind in a cage and watch it suffer and scream… Then many years passed... When the world was all broken and grey they felt lonely and looked for some love. And I gave them love in its purest form. Yet when it came they did not see. When I gave them love… They nailed it to a tree.

For my secret reader =)

You're my unfathomable precious unimaginable joy
And you're exceedingly exciting and abundantly more than I could ask for
With your hand in mine we will pass through time and space
And every second, every minute, every hour of every day I’ll say

My unfailing love for you will not be moved
And though the mountains be shaken
And the hills be removed
Yet my unfailing love for you

He tells a story of a King coming in glory and He is
And that same Man who devised that plan united ours with His
And so hand in hand we will walk with Him as our two become as one
And all the promises He promises to us He promises will never be undone

Before bed love confessions...

Cool day... Went on a sort of a picnic with most of my friends... Well, the most important people were there... Or should I say the most important person =)
I love wearing your jacket, or how you tell me you love me without anyone seeing or hearing you, or how you always look at me just to make sure I'm OK. We should totally go to the "Pametnik" together... alone =) I didn't tell you yesterday but my heart almost melted when you wanted to carry me through the puddles. And I totally melted in your arms when you hugged me. I love being able to talk to you about almost everything... Almost :D Or when you ask your funny questions. I just love you =) It's as simple as that =) I love making up new words when talking to you, or calling you at 11 pm just to talk. Or when someone says something about you I feel like I'm blushing. And when I have to say your name in front of other people I think it comes out differently. You've become such a big part of my life now... Today you put your wallet and keys in my bag and it feels weird... in a good way. Like we already are together. And if I'm cold I wouldn't take other people's jackets... I take only yours. Cause you are my man =) My husband (to be) (hopefully)
So, yeah... I love you. And I can't wait to see you again... Tomorrow =)
I am glad you came with us today... It wouldn't be fun for me without you.
I'm really sleepy, you know my hands hurt too so I'm gonna stop for today... I'll continue writing how much I love you tomorrow.
Good night to you my love =)

Supernatural

Jesus, You are alive! Yeah, really! You are not a fiction, not made up, not in books... You are alive and because of that I am alive. Your death made me clean and Your resurrection paid for my soul. I will never be able to repay... or express for that matter how thankful I am to You for what You did. And the most amazing thing is that You are alive now. If You stayed in that tomb and never rose from the dead... well, I don't know what would happen and I am happy I don't. I have such a strong and powerful God, such a merciful and amazing God! A supernatural God. A true Hero. Because of You I am alive and forgiven and I will live forever!

One word

Ruin me, please! Break me. I need You to destroy me completely... I don't want to be what I am, cause who I am is what I hate most. So destroy me and then start me anew. Don't leave anything... Shatter every little piece of me and burn it, let there be no sign of what I used to be. New creation... That's what Your word says and that's what I want. I want You to ruin the old person and make a new one. I need to be new. You are a powerful God so what is it for You to break someone... I need destruction. I need renewal. Make me go away. Break me into pieces that can never be fixed... I don't want to be what I am, I don't even want to be close to what I am now. Start my ending... Make me new. Tear me down, those things I've built. "Thunder crashing, wind and rain" That's how I need You. Desperately. I'm just sick and tired of myself. I hate what sin has done with me, how it has turned me into a monster. You've risen dead people, divided seas, commanded winds to stop... So I guess one sinner is a piece of cake to You. I have known You for almost 3 years now and I feel like I'm standing in the same place I started. I really want You and want to love You and serve You but who I am is just not enough... So let there be no more 'me'. Create a new person. Put me in the place where I end and You begin. Cause I hate what I am, I hate the person sin has created me to be. I claim to be a Christian, I proclaim that You can save and give freedom from sin and yet I live in my sin. What kind of testimony, what kind of example is that? I don't want to disgrace and insult Your name... Don't let me. I know I've cried million times about the same things... Even my tears now mean nothing. Rescue me... from myself, from who I am. Make me Yours alone. Just say the word and I'll be new... Say the word, Lord, please...

I ♥ your straight black hair and black eyes... Oh, and by the way thanks for making the end of my day so awesome

Totally crappy day. I came to the conclusion that I don't like school... I don't hate it and I don't want to graduate cause I don't know what I'm gonna do after that but I didn't like school today... Well, at least the evening was great =)
OK, I've said this more than million times but I don't feel like stopping. I totally love you more than anything. I love YOU. I love your STRAIGHT, BLACK HAIR AND BLACK EYES!!! I hope our children look like you. I don't want you to feel not enough... ever. Cause you are more than enough. You are perfect.
I loved sitting next to you on that bus stop. It's so great to put my head on your shoulder and feeling your arms around me. It's my hiding place, right there, in your arms. It's my safe place. It's the place I belong and feel good, comfortable and even beautiful. Being yours is one of the most amazing feelings in the world. Being smaller than you, looking up when I want to look you in the eyes, standing on my tip-toes when I want to hug you, having my hand totally get lost in yours, being able to fit perfectly in your arms... Those are the things I love. But mostly... I love being able to tell you anything, to tell you my most secret things and knowing that you won't judge me. I love telling you how my day passed and I even love complaining to you =) I love it when you laugh at me... I mean those moments when I do something silly and you start laughing at me. I loved it when you shook your head today in such a funny way... =) I love how we share the same faith, believe in the same God, have a few shared interests. You know, we have something in common... we both love each other... =) So, please, do me a favor... Forget about the things we talked about today... age, looks and stuff like that. All this doesn't matter cause I love you for who you are. I can't explain it. I guess God has given me this special love for you and maybe that's why I can't explain it. I know that you are reading this =) So while you're doing that just try to accept the fact that maybe, just maybe I love only YOU. Yeah, YOU. No one else. A song said it very well: "You make me happy to be alive"

Better...

I feel more confident about the drama... A few rehearsals today didn't make it all perfect but we're gonna get there. It's really hard... we have to synchronize the moves, we need better timing but I think we're gonna be just fine. I have a lot of things on my mind... especially with school tomorrow and that book I haven't read for literature class but somehow I feel more optimistic about everything. I have to read the Word more...
Oh, and by the way... church is beautiful after that painting... They've painted only the big hall but it's so light, so clean and looks so fresh =) It's a great thing that it's gonna be ready by Easter =)
It was great having those few minutes to talk to you... On the way to church. Mostly I talked but simply walking next to you comforts me and makes me feel better. Thanks for the ice-cream =)
I don't know why but I want to apologize for all the bad things I've done... Or maybe not bad but not exactly right. For every word I shouldn't have said, for everything I shouldn't have done. I am sorry if sometimes I make you mad or make your day worse... It's not on purpose, it's not something I want to do but it still happens. I am sorry if something is not the way you want it, if something about me is not right. I love you with all my heart and I am willing to change. I am sorry if I'm doing stuff you don't like, stuff you don't approve or stuff you don't want me to do. Even when I do stupid things or hurt you... Just remember that no matter what I love you with all my being. And I would do anything, give anything to be with you. Also... I am praying for you... never forget that. I am praying that God holds you and gives you strength and hope. I got your back =)

I suck

I hate running... I really do. I hate running from the things I shouldn't be running from. I hate running from You, from the things I should be doing. I hate how yesterday I was feeling so close to You and today it's like I made a small step back. I don't want any steps back. I want to wrap my arms around You and never let go. I hate my lack of perseverance. I hate that I can't be solid and steady. I hate that. It's my worst problem and I don't know if I can beat it. I love being with You, it's the most important thing in my life and still I manage to slip away for some time... Me time. I don't want a Me time anymore. I want You time. I want only You time. I want You to control and guide my life. I want You to fill my heart, my dreams, my thoughts, my days. I want to be with You every second. Why is it so hard? Why can't it be easy like blinking or smiling... Why can't it be natural? Why do I have to fight to be with You? I hate the fact that it's not easy. I hate when I loose that battle. I hate being far from You. It's like stop breathing... cause only with You I feel alive, I do need You like the air but it's harder to really stop breathing than to run away from You. I hate how my life is stupid and meaningless when I take a step back from Your arms... I even suck at running. I suck at living. I suck at everything concerning You. I can't even run away from You properly. This sucks... Everything sucks. I hate the fact that I'm always far from You in a very important moment of my life, when I need Your help and I can't ask for it. I hate those days when I know I'm wrong and still not willing to get right with You. I suck!!!

Things I thought about today...

I think I should slow down all this... I write every day at least 1 or 2 stuff...
I am proud of my guy... I am proud of you for apologizing to that punk. And you can't imagine how happy I am that you're finally gonna have your own drum set. I feel almost like I am getting those drums...
About today... we talked about the future and I am a little worried but I know that if we stick together and obey God He will take care of us and make everything even better than we could imagine. I trust Him with my life so I am sure that He will work things out... And as long as it's His will for us to be together He will make the best of everything. =)
I don't think I've ever told you what I'm about to write now... Do you know one of the main reasons I'm almost 100% sure that you are the one? You know how people usually date... They see each other and if they like what they see they get to know each other. With you it didn't happen like that... When I first saw you that Sunday it's not that I didn't like you... You are the most handsome guy ever... It's just that I started liking you and fell in love with you after I got to know you, after I was familiar with your personality. So I basically fell in love with you not only because of your looks... It's your heart, it's the person you are that I'm in love with... The good looks are like a bonus =)
I am ready to wait for you not 3 or 7 but million years (of course that doesn't mean you have to make me wait unnecessarily) But I love you and I will wait... It's not like I have a choice anyway.

Allow me to correct myself... I don't hate the rain... I hate when it's in my shoes or wetting my hair... That's all. I love looking at the rain from the inside but not be under its cold and wet drops. I also hate maths... And I am writing this on a day I don't have a maths class... That's gotta mean I hate it a lot.

Something else I thought of today while I was waiting in the rain for my bus... I believe in Jesus Christ and that is so amazing... I mean He is not just some Jesus, some guy who lived and did some miracles and died... He is The One who died to provide my salvation, The One who will be in my most hard times, The One who will rescue me when I call out to Him... The name of Jesus Christ is the most powerful name ever... That name gives purpose, hope, salvation, healing, life, love, forgiveness, completeness, encouragement. Jesus is not the kind of God who will condemn or judge, He doesn't hold me accountable for the things I've done... When I come to Him He doesn't want me to be cleaned first and then accept me. He wraps me in His arms the way I am... Dirty, stained, liar and hypocrite, robber and adulterer. He takes me to His home, puts me in His heart and then cleans me... Isn't it amazing how His love works? Isn't He amazing? Knowing that I am a sinful person and still His love in unconditional and unfailing. His arms will never get tired of waiting for me to come back. His heart will never be closed for me. His goodness, and mercy and forgiveness will never end. No matter how far I run His love is always there to hold me, fix me, make me new. His hands are always there to puck me up and He is always there to say: It's OK, just keep going. Can you imagine that when He created everything, when He was making the sun and the moon and the stars He knew that I will be born, that I will exist. And He loved me (and everyone else) before even my parents were born. When He was hanging on that cross He was thinking of us... each and everyone of us. We turn our backs on Him , we are so unfaithful and so mean... and still He has this simple love for us. We change our minds all the time... We are so erratic and weak and still His way of loving us never changes. No matter how unfaithful we are He is as faithful as He has always been. He won't change His mind. We will never hear Him say: I loved you but you know what... I don't anymore. Hallelujah for that. Hallelujah for everything You've done. I praise You my King for being My King. I praise You for everything You are. I praise You for the sacrifice. I praise You for Your love. I praise You for being the Best Father ever. I praise You for holding my past, my present and my future in Your hands. I praise You for Your patience. You must be patient. I can't imagine a man being so patient. Thank You for being a God, for being the Lord of Lords and the King of Kings. Thank You for changing me and for the promise never to stop doing that. Your word says that the one who loves You obeys You... That's what I'm fighting for... I want to be obedient and good and do all those things You command. Of course I have a lot to learn in that area but I want to do it and I am willing to pay the price. I want to be everything You've planned for me to be and I want to follow You no matter where You lead me. You've set my heart on fire and my soul is burning with the desire to be Yours... Yours and Yours alone. I can't imagine living without You now that I've tried from Your love and so I have no idea how people in the world manage to live without You in their lives... So I really want to go out there and proclaim Your truth, I want to go there and tell everyone that You are not a fairytale, You are not distant and You are not created by someone's imagination. YOU ARE REAL! You are alive! I want to tell everyone that there is a better way of living, that they have souls and those souls need salvation cause hell exists. I want to tell them that You've prepared a Heaven for those who believe in You. I want to go to Heaven but I don't want to go there alone... If I am going there I am totally bringing as much people with me as I can. I want people to see my life and say: There's something about this girl... She has something I don't and I want it too. I want people to see You in my life... Like the reflection of the sun in a mirror. You are already the Sun that makes everything so bright... I need to learn how to be the mirror. Help me be the mirror.

ILY2

OK... I didn't see that one coming... You've said those words a few million times, you've showed it every time you've said it... But opening that Skype window and reading what you wrote... It's just an 'I love you' and I should have probably gotten used to it... I thought I have. But reading it now, just s few minutes ago... My heart totally melted. I felt those butterflies in my stomach. I shouldn't be surprised when you say something like that and I don't know why I felt this way... You love me... That is so... I don't know... warming and pleasant to hear (or read in that case)
I love you too!

Rainy day...

I totally hate the raaaaaaaaaiiiiiin =(((( Where's my sunshine???? I want spring, summer... NO RAIN!!!!

Anyway. Today's gonna be a pretty busy day too. Mom gave me like million things to do, all the stuff I hate doing. I have some homework to do, and I don't know how I am going to get to school in one piece... It's raining =(((( Yeah, I think I mentioned that I hate the rain.

Do you really love me that much? I mean, I know you do but it's weird how you say some stuff... like you're gonna carry me to school so I don't get wet... =) Thank you for yesterday. When I called I felt really bad but you gave me some hope. Thank you, I love you. Thank you for allowing God to use you. You are an amazing friend (can't wait to be able to say an amazing husband) I love getting to know you, discovering new things about you and your personality. I love how you take care of me... You really make me feel like a princess. I thank God for choosing you to show me His love for me. You are the best gift I have ever received. I love the way you treat me, I love that you love me back =)

Thank you God for what you are doing for me. Most importantly for what you did on the cross... and for continuing to show me love... I love You!

kljasdgkljrihjaf

Wow! This was a ... hmm I don't even know how to describe this day... Spring brake is over so today was the first day of school... So it was boring... In the evening - well we are doing this thing for Easter, like a little drama for church and of course I am going to play the main role... It's something like the Lifehouse Everything Drama but still a little different. So my head is running in about 2000000 miles an hour right now... Thinking how to do it, costumes and all. I am worried to be honest cause basically I do most of the things and I'm not sure I'm good at this... I don't want to screw things up cause it's a great idea. I want to do this for God's glory... And still I feel like my peace is gone... I am so worried about stuff and thinking about so many things that it's hard to concentrate on the Reason we are all doing it... I just want everything to be OK... Not me acting good... I want people to understand everything and accept it. I want it all to work out smoothly and I want to glorify His name with this drama. Anyway.... My head's a buzz with school, the drama, being a good daughter at home, spiritual life... If anyone is really reading this could you please pray for me... Right now as you read this... just a few words to support me. Thanks.
I can't wait for summer brake... I can't wait for school to end so that I have at least one thing less to worry about... Jesus, S.O.S. Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeee...

Bought. All.

This is something that makes me think...

No one is good. There is not even one. The front pages of papers of children raped by rapists, the Iraqi torture chambers. And we (the blame) claim we're blameless. Wrong. All. Swelling up inside of us there's this pride in us, this arrogance. And our only line of defense is the sense that I'm not half as bad as this friend of mine so I must be fine. We mean well. Don't we? Yet I've never seen good intentions set a man free from hurt. All. This poor unfortunate soul filling a single void with toy after toy, girl after boy. How boring. This wasn't meant to be humanity's life story, warring with God saying: 'What have You done for me?'
Bought. All. Hanging out for 6 hours, marred beyond recognition, in complete submission to the Father's will. Still a proclamation was made louder than the loudest temptation, with more beauty than all His creation. More eternal than eternity, more angelic than the heavenlies.
It is done.
You are bought with blood.
Accept and rejoice.
For freedom has come.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TSnltiQozVk&feature=related

That's love

One of my schoolmates wrote on her profile something like: Live for the pleasure, you are made of it. I was like: what? This is the kind of lies the devil is trying to sell people and he's good at it. No, i don't think we should live for the pleasures. There's much more than that. I believe that there is purpose, a reason to live and i want my life to mean something. I don't want my flesh to be good. I want my soul to live. I want to do something. Maybe not change the world but if i can touch at least one person's heart and show that person that Jesus is alive and we all need saving... That's what i want to do. God has a plan for everyone. I want to make His plan for my life reality. I want to put His words into action.

I have come to realize that i don't have much... To be honest I have nothing, nothing to give to God. But I decided that I will serve Him with everything I am. And as long as He wants me in that worship team I will be there. Jars of Clay - Little Drummer Boy. This song really inspired me. I have nothing worth to give a King but I will give the Lord all I am, all I have and I will be the best version of myself and I will do it for Him. People always say that everyone's special, unique, great and all that... That's all a lie. I'm none of that. You know why? Cause if I was special, unique and perfect I wouldn't need a Savior. But because I'm not all those things I need my Jesus. I am so dirty and bad that only the blood of God's Son could make me clean. I'm not proud of who I am... I'm proud of who my Daddy can make me.

I really don't understand God's love... Him loving ME is a concept my head cannot grasp. I don't know how a Holy God can look to me and see something worth loving. Or maybe that's the thing... He doesn't see anything worth loving and that's why He loves me. I have no idea. I can't understand why the Author of everything even bothers with me... I am so weak and I turn my back on Him all the time and still when I come back He's right there waiting like nothing happened. THAT'S LOVE. WOW! It's amazing to know that whatever you do there is someone who loves you the way you are. He doesn't want me to be the same, He wants me to change but when I come to Him He doesn't say something like: No, you first go change and then come to Me. That's so awesome. He's not a God who will condemn and kill, He's so merciful. I can't understand why people don't want to see all this. They all want to be loved and yet they hate the One who truly loves them. Why?

I thought about something today while I was in the shower (don't even know why I mentioned the shower). Isn't it great that God is who He is no matter who we are. We all have an idea of what God is... He's loving, caring, forgiving... stuff like that. Thank You God for not being what I think You are. You are so much more than what my limited mind can think of. I don't think there are suitable verbs and words that can sum up His personality. Isn't that amazing?! Knowing that we believe in a God who is more than we could ever know. Bigger than us, bigger than this planet, bigger than anything. The BIGGEST. He is so... Man I can't even describe Him. If He changed ME that makes Him a big deal... I'm probably like the worst person ever. I'm not perfect now but definitely better. I'm not who I'm supposed to be but thank God I'm not who I was. And by the mercy of God I am who I am. =)

Out of 9 I give you 10

I love your principles. I don't think I should mention the eyes... I want you to know that I'm waiting. I will be waiting as much as I have to. I love everything about you and can't wait to be with you one day. You are a gift from God to me and I don't think I'll ever thank Him enough for you. Cause you are one of the best things that have happened to me and I'm happy I have you. It makes me happy when you smile and laugh. I'm really sorry for all the times you've been talking to me and I haven't been listening... It's not that I don't care... It's just you get so excited when you tell me stuff and your eyes have this sparkle... It's probably very stupid but I find myself staring... A LOT. I love the way you always know if I'm OK or not, if I'm close to God or not... It's great that I'm like an open book to you. I love you for being able to see me even through my masks and everything. I love how you encourage me and help me... When I fall it's great to see you by my side and know that you are there to help me get up. God is totally using you... Don't you ever think you are useless or unimportant. You are such an inspiration. You are something. I've told you probably million times that I love you but words are not enough to express my love for you. People say that actions speak louder than words so... I will prove you my love by waiting for you as much as I need to. I love you... ALWAYS!!!

Music

I love discovering new songs... That inspires me somehow... So the new stuff i'm listening to is Jimmy Needham... cool =)

OK... Let's see

I have absolutely no idea what to write (or if i should at all) but I'm bored so... I guess this is it... My first blog... I'm new at this and so i don't know if anyone will ever read any of this... But to be honest i don't care... I will probably write whatever is in my head and hope that it may encourage someone else... Anyway... I think I should think about what to write before writing it... And now that my space button is totally driving me crazy i think it's enough writing for today... But there will be more from me (i hope)...