Heart-breaking...

I'm quiet tonight... Quiet and humbled. Rehearsal... i love it but I hate how I feel there. I don't think people there realize how blessed and gifted they are... If I had half of their talent... I don't want to sound like I'm jealous but I wish I could sing or play like that... It's my dream since I could dream and now being so close to it and yet not being able to do it... It's a bit heart-breaking. I keep praying if it's God's will for me to sing that He may give me a voice... But it makes me cry to see all those talented people and I just stand there, feeling dumb and stupid and useless. I know I'm not those things but it's the way I feel. I do what I can... the lyrics and the computer. But sometimes I wish I could do more. I wish I could get up there, take the mic and sing my heart out. Being among those people who are my closest friends makes me feel so small and insignificant. I promised myself I would honor and serve God with everything I have, in the smallest things and yet this childhood dream of mine keeps on pressing me and making me cry. I love music and art... it's a big part of my life and I want to praise God with what I feel is close to my heart and yet I can't... It is indeed a bit heart-breaking...