One word

Ruin me, please! Break me. I need You to destroy me completely... I don't want to be what I am, cause who I am is what I hate most. So destroy me and then start me anew. Don't leave anything... Shatter every little piece of me and burn it, let there be no sign of what I used to be. New creation... That's what Your word says and that's what I want. I want You to ruin the old person and make a new one. I need to be new. You are a powerful God so what is it for You to break someone... I need destruction. I need renewal. Make me go away. Break me into pieces that can never be fixed... I don't want to be what I am, I don't even want to be close to what I am now. Start my ending... Make me new. Tear me down, those things I've built. "Thunder crashing, wind and rain" That's how I need You. Desperately. I'm just sick and tired of myself. I hate what sin has done with me, how it has turned me into a monster. You've risen dead people, divided seas, commanded winds to stop... So I guess one sinner is a piece of cake to You. I have known You for almost 3 years now and I feel like I'm standing in the same place I started. I really want You and want to love You and serve You but who I am is just not enough... So let there be no more 'me'. Create a new person. Put me in the place where I end and You begin. Cause I hate what I am, I hate the person sin has created me to be. I claim to be a Christian, I proclaim that You can save and give freedom from sin and yet I live in my sin. What kind of testimony, what kind of example is that? I don't want to disgrace and insult Your name... Don't let me. I know I've cried million times about the same things... Even my tears now mean nothing. Rescue me... from myself, from who I am. Make me Yours alone. Just say the word and I'll be new... Say the word, Lord, please...