It's so different now. And it has never been like this. It's all empty and kind of colorless. Can you imagine me using this word... But I'll say it again... Colorless.
And nice ladies don't share their flowers anymore cause they're not nice anymore. And what's the point in having flowers that don't bring joy?
And it feels like I don't belong here. Like I was never supposed to be this far from your arms, from your heart. But people leave whether I like it or not. And they don't just leave... They leave and leave you colorless. Leave you with nothing, not even a little piece of crayon to start all over again. And people don't keep their promises anymore. And they don't care how you feel... They just do what they have to do and if you're in the way... Then you're out. And after that every big event in your life can be described with one single word... Whatever.
And I used to pray for God to give you back to me. But I'm not sure that's how things work. You have a say in this. Unlike me. No one asked me if I wanted to cry or not. No one gave me the opportunity to choose if I want to be broken or not. I just don't have a say in this. And it's not you who lost. It's all me.
And music doesn't matter, poetry doesn't matter. Nothing does. And you're standing right in front of me and you know all this and you do nothing about it. There's nothing you can do, you'd say but you're wrong. The only one who can do something about anything is you. But you refuse to move your finger. After all, you said sorry and your hands are clean. And I don't even remember how I fall asleep anymore. And I make up stories where I'm good and my life is good. But you're not a puppet I control. Your heart is not a piece of paper I can do whatever I want with. It's free will. It's a free country. And it's a girl tied to you, one you don't see and don't care about, a girl you don't want but drag around. And I find myself not knowing what to pray about. But it's not your direction. You chose another one, a better one. And I'll be on the wrong one. It's fine. Cause I can't imagine you feeling like this because of me. So it's fine cause you're fine. And it doesn't matter that those orange sleeves are all wet and it's not even bed time yet.