Depression is what it's called

Sucks.

Everything.

When you have nothing to look forward to and not because it has all come true... Oh, no!

It wasn't supposed to be like this. It wasn't supposed to hurt this much. But it does. Beyond anything.

And there's this numbing pain that leaves you so weak and exhausted that you wish you could just lay somewhere and cry. And instead you have to live. You have to live with this... or I think it's better to say without this... Without love.

And I am a dreamer and that is all I do so I don't live. I can't. I'm not allowed to. Because I only dream. Life is for others. It's for the lucky ones, and obviously I'm not one of them.

And like someone said... Where do I go? To the left where nothing's right or to the right where nothing's left?

And I wish I could close my eyes, then open them again and find out it was all a big joke on April fools... But it's the end of May and the only fool is the one writing this.

And I wish I had the guts to do something reckless but I'm not that kind of girl... I'm the boring type.

And I can't even enjoy properly my best friend's happiness. And I suck for that.

So let's get back to the point...

Sucks.

Everything.