Lessons

My begging doesn't matter anymore. Neither do my tears. I should have learned by now how to break silently. But do you ever learn? Instead I've spent the recent years hoping I would never break again. I've been blind. I've been way too optimistic. I have wanted love and yet I've forgotten that the world I live in is not powered by love. So this shouldn't be a surprise. And in a way it is not. I have relied on the fact that you are stupid enough to be so in love with me. But you grew up. You became smarter. You know better now than to be in love with a wretch. And I should have known better than to hope for a life with you. Again I was certain. I was sure. And again it led me nowhere. Maybe one day I will stop believing in this nonsense. Maybe this day is coming closer. Maybe the holes in my heart will finally teach me. I hope they do. After all even a doormat worns out at some point.

Yet there is a cry in me that I cannot supress...

Don't give up on me yet.