Still and Quiet

I'll stand still. Take your aim. Everyone. It's ok, I can take some more. Don't worry about me. Say what you need to say. Express how you feel. Tell me what you think. About me. Just don't tell me it's not personal. Don't tell me you love me if you're about to pull the trigger. Let's not pretend tonight. Let's not call each other friends. You never tried standing here in my shoes so why begin now. Just take your aim and shoot.
Me? I'll be fine. After every bullet I still get up somehow. But don't be fooled... I've given up on me a long time ago.
So do what you're about to do and I'll just silently break if that's ok with you.

20

We grow up. Sooner or later. We just have to. No matter how much we want to stay the same and stay in our magic world... We grow up. We get smarter than to believe in fairy tales. We outgrow magic. We stop waiting for that chick-flick type of love to come around.

I used to be a dreamer. I can't say I'm not one now. But now my dreams are a little bit more... down-to-earth. More tame. And instead of flying around in clouds, I learn how to come down and start walking. Because flying only works in little children's dreams and books. And I live in neither of those.

So I'm a big girl now. I understand. I understand your words, your mindset. Not all of it, of course, because that would require a full knowledge of who you are and it would be a shameless lie to say that I know you. But I understand. And this understanding is part of my growing up. I can't say it's pleasant. I guess it always feels better when things turn out the way we want them to. But I know I need to grow up. I need to learn to keep my heart under my head. I need to learn not to give myself away too soon. So many lessons ahead.

So I'm coming down this time. I'm coming down from my high fortress and I'm beginning to change. I'm growing up.

Fearless Love

"If you can't hold me now
You will never hold me again"

Expectations vs. Reality

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0put0_a--Ng

"Два дня"

Бях тайна. Магическа. Магнетична. Красива тайна. От онези, дето ги има малко. Забулена с мистерия. Неизвестна за никого.

А после... Като девица, пазила се чиста цял живот и за един миг някой жестоко, безмилостно разкъсва дрехите и. Така и тайната беше разбулена. Разкрита. Остана гола, насред студения дъжд. Глупава, никому ненужна. Боса, мокра. Толкова нелепо елементарна. Никак сложна, никак магическа, никак красива. Насред тълпа от лица. Тълпа от пръсти, сочещи и присмиващи се. И онова, което веднъж бе прелестно, мистично и тайно, изведнъж стана известно на всички, а следователно скучно и сиво.

А бях тайна...

Samantha

"They say there's always someone in a relationship who loves more. Oh God I wish it wasn't me."

НАЧАЛО

Някой би погледнал на това и за да го опише би използвал думите "несбъднати очаквания, разочарования, страх, празни думи, разбити сърца..."

А аз, гледайки на същото нещо, казвам "МЕЧТА, РАДОСТ, ТРЕПЕТ, ЛЮБОВ, ПРИЕМАНЕ, МИЛОСТ, ПРОШКА..."

И така... Кой е прав? Ами аз, разбира се... И не просто защото съм аз... А защото няма значение кой какво казва... Нямат значение пръстите, които сочат и слагат етикет "край", щом аз с дебели букви пиша "НАЧАЛО" и украсявам надписа със сърца и със звезди... Най-вече със звезди... Падащи... Хиляди... Не, милиони... Абе, много, МНОГО.

Защото виждам, че никой друг не е важен, никой друг не е от значение... Само ти. И малко аз. И това е.

От днес съм себе си.